I don’t remember celebrating Diwali last year; that probably has something to do with having a newborn. This year however I am having this deep need of making few changes, be it home, career, relationship, kids, garden, whatever. I want to do something (don’t exactly know what), just get down and create something beautiful. Last months has been really trying for all of us, with new job, sick kids, and losses that few our friends suffered. There was an air of stifling gloom and negativity surrounding me, something that even the spirit of Durga Puja couldn’t shake off.
However, things are slowly changing. Maybe it’s the nip in the air, lights in the neighborhood, and over-crowded markets. Or maybe it’s the spirit of Diwali that is making all the things right on its own. I don’t know, but that phase made me realize that I could be unhappy, even after having the best partner, adorable kids, good career, friends, home and hearth. That thought has shaken me up a bit. As I am typing the words now, I realized the extent of sadness I felt, but the strange thing is I really don’t know what made me so unhappy. Does that make any sense?
I took up house-cleaning with a vengeance! It sounds silly, but it was so cathartic and after having read Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I have started looking at house cleaning from a different perspective. I am taking baby-steps where Kondo is concerned; just started off with accessories and baby clothes, and it helped. Honestly speaking, I don’t really have any time to introspect about my state-of-mind juggling kids and career. But sometimes, the simple task of folding a cloth or re-arranging a wardrobe can feel so good.
As I’m not a full-blown creative person; I get creative ideas in bouts. Mostly, I am OK with neat bed and few cushions. But as a child I always use to trail after my mother during Diwali house cleaning; I would re-arrange the sofa, dust the bookshelf, arrange the innumerable case-files Maa possessed or fetch some flowers from the garden to be put on vase. I would stand holding the tool watching my father put on the Diwali lights on our verandah in neat U-shaped layer. I loved all that. I remember once I made a small landscape in the corner of our garden, with a small pond, wooden bark and plants. That fetched me many compliments from neighborhood aunties and uncle. I know they were indulging and encouraging a little girl, but down the years that girl got lost, and somehow I feel, I need to find her and make peace with her, before I lose her forever.
As the years are passing, and I am moving further away from my childhood it’s making me more conscious of how I need to hold on to that part of me. I need to light up some new dreams and fresh hopes, and sweep off this internal clutter of negativity out of the window.
Here’s hoping this Diwali will bring out that much-needed clarity in my life as well as yours.
#Diwali #MarieKondo #decluttering #slowingdown #takingcontrol #findinghappiness