Long before I had a baby or even had a reckoning for it, I made a list of things I swore I will never do as a parent. Needless to say I did not keep them, and “not keep them” has to be the greatest understatement, because there were times when I had bent backwards and crawled to the things I swore I will never do.
1. I swore I will never use TV/Mobile/IPad as a babysitter:
While growing up we had cable connection when I passed the 10th board, my elder sister was in 1st year Engineering at that time. All my friends use to harp about Disney Hour, Tara, Hip Hip Hurray, and stuffs, but not us—books were our entertainment. We did resent our parents for doing that to us, but later realized they did us a favour, if not we would never have developed this fondness for books.
So TV became this evil idiot box that I never much respected.
Fast forward today, my about-to-turn three year old knows the likes of Mother Goose Club, Chuggington, Mickey Mouse Club House, Masha and the Bear, and what not!
Long before the child happened, I always pictured myself laying down creative activities for him every evening. TV as a pastime – that’s not my style!
After popping out the peanut I’ve realized that he is simply not interested in anything I am not doing. So if I am tossing a salad, he wants to cook up a storm. If I am dusting the shelf, he wants to take over while knocking half of the book off the shelf.
So guess what comes to the rescue—Nanny TV!
2. No Bribing The Baby (KinderJoys, Car rides in Market, Cold Drinks, Red Cars)
I swore I won’t play such tricks on my baby! My bachelor self use to look down upon people who use to bribe their kids into doing things.
Nah, never me!
I would always offer a proper explanation. Oh yes, I would enlighten him and he would understand right away, of course. What’s so tough about making a 3-year old understand?
Fast forward today, after telling him not to empty his school bag in the bathroom for the 100th time!
My only tactics is:
Aurko stop doing that if you want an orange Tang. Period
3. When Motherhood Fails
Last week was crazy, so crazy that every morning getting him ready for school was like a Warzone at home.
Baby, today is a blue day in your school. You want to wear the Mickey Mouse tee?
Nooooo! Wailing and howling… I want to wear yellow TEE, Mama!
Ok! Stop crying; let’s get you a bath first (he loves taking a bath)!
Nooooo! Still wailing and howling…I don’t want to take a bath!
See I’ve put these nice trucks in the tub?
Noooooooo! Why did you put my trucks in the tubs?
Blah! Blah! Blah!
What does mama do in situations like that? She scoops him out of the tub, drags him to the bedroom, force him to wear his school dress, and literally wish that she could bundle this child to Mars—while wiping those tears off her face!
Yes, that has happened a lot (lately)!
My child-less self always considered myself to be way classier and composed to let a three-year old run amock her neatly organized mind space!
Obviously, I’ve had the rudest awakening of my life!
But I’m clear now. I don’t roll my eyes and put on my headphones when I see a child sitting next to me on the plane. I am done commenting on somebody’s loud child in the supermarket. I don’t judge people when they bring their small child in the movie halls.
Because, in Jennifer Salaiz word:
That whore, karma, had finally made her way around, and had just bitch-slapped me right across the face.
A version of this blog post is published in Buzzing Bubs as my column, check it here http://www.buzzingbubs.com/articles/3-things-i-swore-id-never-do-as-a-parent